Set aside 15-30 minutes in a one on one meeting or lunch with a direct report, peer, or mentor. I suggest not asking your supervisor until you have received feedback from at least 5 other people.
Share the following prior to the meeting:
I am participating in an activity to understand my strengths as well as identify areas of growth. I have written down leadership qualities that I want to be known for and an area I want to improve. To assess how I am doing and expand my perspective, I would like to get your feedback.
At this point, you do not have to tell them specifically what you are going to ask at the meeting. The idea is to get “unrehearsed” responses…however, you know the relationship best. If you would like to give them a heads up so they can think about what they will share before you meet, that works too. Just make sure they know you do not want them spending a lot of time preparing for the meeting. It is more of a conversation than an assignment. (Note: If you are asking your boss for feedback, it is a good idea to give them advance notice.)
At the meeting, the conversation can go several ways. One that I have found the most productive is:
Have the person provide you 5 words that represent what they know you for. The first 5 words that come to mind. The words should be leadership qualities or strengths.
Write down the five words.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Ask them to elaborate on each one of the five qualities individually. What do I “do” or what “actions” have I taken that caused you to say that I am known for “#1”? The more specific the better. It makes this process more meaningful and provides you valuable feedback on things you need to continue to do.
Continue for all 5 items.
Thank them for recognizing your strengths. In an effort to deflect compliments, this is a step we sometimes forget. It is important! Accept the compliment and always say thank you.
Now, ask them what is one thing they think you could improve on. This is usually not a one word answer. Some people will think of something right off, others will be hesitant. Let them think for a couple of minutes if needed. If they are struggling, don’t lose the opportunity to get the feedback. Frame the question a different way if needed.
- Are there any of the 5 things you mentioned that could I do more of or in different situations that could improve my leadership abilities?
- Is there a partnership I am missing out on?
- What is an area you see needs attention that my strengths would be a good fit for?
Hopefully, this helped them think of an area of improvement. Write it down.
1.
When they give you the one thing. Be sure to ask them HOW you can improve in that area. Get ideas from them on steps you can take to start overcoming the challenge.
Thank them for helping you grow. Sharing feedback is sometimes harder than receiving it. Make sure they know how much you appreciate them taking the time to share.
Act on the feedback. Be more intentional with the 5 things and commit to address the 1 thing. Recognize opportunities when you can replicate actions that were shared regarding your strengths. Likewise, be aware of the 1 thing and be willing to push yourself out of your comfort zone to overcome the challenge.